If I Could Go Back

An achingly compassionate and beautifully empathetic novel exploring the intersections of race, mental health, and the meaning of family—perfect for fans of Robin Benway’s Far from the Tree and Jas Hammonds’ We Deserve Monuments.

For Aaliyah Campbell, family is everything. Her cousin Ivy is her best friend and track costar, and Grandpa Joe is her rock. He may be crotchety and dramatic, but he’s raised Aaliyah since she was a toddler. Still, Aaliyah can’t stop thinking about what’s missing—her parents. 

When Aaliyah secretly contacts her mom, Lena, she risks upsetting the family who’s always been there for her. But Grandpa Joe refuses to explain why her parents gave her up and, without answers, Aaliyah cannot silence the anxious voice telling her she’s never been good enough. 

Aaliyah is hardly surprised when Lena ghosts her, though she’s shocked when her dad, Quincy, steps up instead. Quincy turns out to be immature but surprisingly fun to hang out with. And when the rest of the family finds out they’re in contact, old secrets will finally be forced into the light. 

Aaliyah Campbell is a champion for young Black girls coping with anxiety and depression, and a voice for all teens navigating the messy process of learning how to advocate for ones’ self. Through honest storytelling and a voice that oozes humor and heart, Briana Johnson’s memorable debut explores sensitive topics with authenticity and compassion.